MRS. TRENTSKI & THE SUBTERRANEAN ROBOT WARRIORS
music that sells
| CROSCRANE presents MRS. TRENTSKI & THE SUBTERRANEAN ROBOT WARRIORS
music that sells
|
selections on the CD include ted's head, that's just awful, weather report, how to stay clean shopping at Wal-Mart, slung turkey, harriet beginning, my nerves are bad tonight, and others that you are sure to enjoy. about 52 minutes of energized post industrial electrothermatic music. | |
- Croscrane™ $5.99 free shipping in USA - Pay with your credit card - with Paypal it's easy, secure, fun, and very American -- all Croscrane products are made in the USA by patriotic Americans paid a living wage
PART ONE: THE CRUSADE
Episode 1
- But I don’t understand, Mrs. Trentski.
-You’re not supposed to understand, Milford. You are a robot, a Subterranean Robot Warrior, to be exact, built to fight the forces bent on destroying civilized society and Disney World.
- OK, Mrs. Trentski. I guess I’ll just leave it at that.
-That’s a good robot, Milford. You make me very proud, and I know that Mr. Trentski would be very proud were he here fighting with us in our great crusade.
-Yes indeed, Mrs. Trentski.
-Mr. Trentski is with us in spirit, Milford. I can feel the force of his spirit propelling us forward.
-Yes indeedy, Mrs. Trentski.
-He was a sort of propeller in life, and he is definitely one now.
-Yes he is, Mrs. Trentski.
-I’m glad you agree, Milford.
-Mrs. Trentski?
-Yes, Milford?
-What is a propeller?
-A propeller? Why a propeller is a revolving shaft with blades.
-Really! Wow! Wait until I tell Norma.
-Norma?
-Yes, Norma, my subterranean robot warrior buddy.
-Oh, yes, of course. You know, Milford, that every subterranean robot warrior should have a buddy was Mr. Trentski’s idea, part of his grand plan for the crusade.
-Really! Wow! Mr. Trentski was certainly a revolving shaft if there ever was one.
-With blades.
-Yes, of course, with blades.
- Pardon me, now, Milford, but I feel tired and in need of a nap.
-Yes, of course, Mrs. Trentski. Shall I send in Nesbit, your nap buddy.
-That would be appropriate, Milford. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.
- That’s quite all right, Mrs. Trentski. Glad to be of service. Like our motto says ...
- Motto?
- The motto of the Subterranean Robot Warriors, Glad To Be Of Service.
- Oh, yes, certainly, the motto written by Mr. Trentski especially for the Subterranean Robot Warriors, also part of his grand design.
- OK, then, Mrs. Trentski, I return now to the depths.
- Yes, Milford, and don’t forget to send in Nesbit.
- Ten four, Mrs. Trentski.
Episode 2
- Have the invitations gone out, Milford?
-Yes, Mrs. Trentski. They went out yesterday.
- Very good, Milford. This will be the biggest Happy Issuance Day Party yet.
- Yes, indeedy, Mrs. Trentski.
- It’s a shame that Mr. Trentski is not here to join in the fun at the party.
- A real shame, Mrs. Trentski.
- It was Mr. Trentski’s idea that the issuance day of every Subterranean Robot Warrior be properly celebrated.
- Yes, Mrs. Trentski. But tell me, if you would be so kind, how does a Subterranean Robot Warrior find out his or her issuance day?
- It’s stamped on the Subterranean Robot Warrior’s underside, Milford.
- Really? Now that is something.
- Yes it is, Milford. Mr. Trentski thought of that.
- You know Norma, my Subterranean Robot Warrior buddy ...
- Yes, Milford.
- I wonder what her issuance day is.
- Simple way to find out, Milford. Just look on her underside.
- Oh, she might not like that, Mrs. Trentski.
- Well, you should probably ask her permission first, Milford.
- Oh, Gee Willikers, Mrs. Trentski, I don’t know if I could do that.
- Why not, Milford?
- Well, because Subterranean Robot Warriors are very sensitive about their undersides.
- And rightfully so, Milford.
- How do you mean, Mrs. Trentski?
- Because the underside of a Subterranean Robot Warrior is like the ... oh, Milford, by the way, have the cakes been ordered?
- I believe so, Mrs. Trentski.
- Perhaps you’d better double check, Milford. We can’t have a Happy Issuance Day party without cakes.
- Or candles, Mrs. Trentski.
- Right you are, Milford. Now be a good Subterranean Robot Warrior and double check on the candles too.
- Ten four, Mrs. Trentski.
Episode 3
- You are no doubt wondering why I summoned you from the depths, Milford?
- Always glad to be of service, Mrs. Trentski.
- The motto of the Subterranean Robot Warriors.
- Right you are, Mrs. Trentski.
- Written by my late husband especially for the Subterranean Robot Warriors.
-Yes, Mrs. Trentski. A part of his grand design.
- Correct, Milford. I’m pleased that you remember that.
- Glad to be of service, Mrs. Trentski.
- OK, Milford, let’s get down to business.
- Righto, Mrs. Trentski.
- We are on screaming red alert today.
- I happened to notice that on my way up from the depths.
- Yes. Very good, Milford. We have received intelligence from CIBSRW, Central Intelligence Bureau of the Subterranean Robot Warriors, that our arch enemies, Dr. Chicago and his evil daughters Kikko and Kikki, are about to hatch a plot to abduct Goofy from Disney World.
- Oh my goodness, Mrs. Trentski, say it isn’t so.
- I wish I could, Milford, but I’m afraid it’s true.
- Oh my goodness, gracious.
- Mama Eisner is very upset.
- I can imagine.
- Goofy is Mama Eisner’s personal favorite of all the Disney characters, Milford.
- I recall that, Mrs. Trentski.
- And Mama Eisner, a very determined woman as you may recall, is determined that nothing untoward happen to Goofy.
- Untoward, Mrs. Trentski?
- Unseemly, Milford.
- I see.
- Mama Eisner wants to run Goofy for the governorship of Florida.
- I thought he was already Governor, Mrs. Trentski.
- No, that is somebody else, Milford.
- Oh, I see.
- Anyway, Milford, it appears that the Subterranean Robot Warriors must go into action.
- Yes, undoubtedly, Mrs. Trentski.
- I am glad you agree, Milford.
- Glad to be of service, Mrs. Trentski.
- Now, Milford, are you familiar with the rock group Random Braindead?
- That’s the group fronted by Kikki and Kikko, the evil daughters of Dr. Chicago.
- That’s right, Milford. And are you familiar with their latest release, "Peoria Pickpocket."
- Yes, Mrs. Trentski, I have heard that.
- Not exactly what you’d call good music, is it, Milford?
- You’ve got a point there, Mrs. Trentski.
- I’m pleased that you agree, Milford.
- Glad to be of service, Mrs. Trentski.
- Yes, Milford. I’m so grateful that Mr. Trentski wrote that motto for the Subterranean Robot Warriors. But never mind. The lyrics to the hit single "Flushing Bottom" contain a clue as to the plans of Dr. Chicago and his evil daughters ...
- Kikko and Kikki.
- Correct, Milford. As I was saying, a clue as to how and when the plot to abduct Goofy from Disney World will unfold.
- Gee Willikers, Mrs. Trentski.
- Now, it’s not necessary that you know all the particulars of the plot.
- Quite right, Mrs. Trentski.
- It is only necessary, as First Sub Commandant of the Subterranean Robot Warriors, that you know that the lead enemy agent will be a rat disguised as Mama Eisner’s son, Michael Eisner.
- Gosh, Gee Willikers, Mrs. Trentski. a rat disguised as Michael Eisner.
- Yes, Milford, hard to conceive, isn’t it.
- Absolutely, Mrs. Trentski. Michael Eisner doesn’t look much like a rat, does he?
- Well, Milford, there are two schools of thought on that, but we mustn't digress.
- No, we mustn't, Mrs. Trentski, mustn't we.
- Quite. In any event, Milford, I want you to prepare the Specialty Forces Unit of the Subterranean Robot Warriors to reconnoiter at 23 hours ...
- Reconnoiter, Mrs. Trentski? That command doesn’t compute.
- No compute, Milford?
- That is correct, Mrs. Trentski. No compute.
- Now, that is odd, Milford. Reconnoiter was a favorite strategic maneuver of Mr. Trentski. He embedded it in the design of our great crusade.
- Quite.
- It was reconnoiter this, reconnoiter that, reconnoiter here, reconnoiter there. I can’t conceive that he didn’t program reconnoiter into every Subterranean Robot Warrior.
- Quite, Mrs. Trentski.
- We’d better call in Rove, Chief of Subterranean Robot Warrior Programming.
- Quite.
- We mustn't let a programming glitch jeopardize our mission.
- No, we mustn't, Mrs. Trentski.
- Milford, summon Rove immediately.
- Ten four, Mrs. Trentski.
- Quite, Milford.
- Glad to be of service, Mrs. Trentski.
- The Subterranean Robot Warrior motto.
- Quite, Mrs. Trentski.
- Ten four, Milford.
Episode 4
- Milford, what do you think of these slacks?
- Mrs. Trentski, I think they are quite becoming.
- Why, thank you, Milford. You are a perceptive Subterranean Robot Warrior if there ever was one.
- Glad to be of service, Mrs. Trentski.
- The motto of the Subterranean Robot Warriors.
- Ten four, Mrs. Trentski.
- Written by my late husband especially for the Subterranean Robot Warriors.
- And a great motto it is, Mrs. Trentski
- I’m glad you approve, Milford.
- Glad to be of service, Mrs. Trentski.
- In case you’re wondering why I asked you about the slacks, Milford, I’ve decided to take a holiday in Las Vegas.
- Quite, Mrs. Trentski.
- The pressure has been getting to me of late, Milford, and I need a break.
- Quite.
- The phone rings and rings, and its always Mama Eisner, desperate to know our progress with regard to the plot hatched by our arch enemy Dr. Chicago and his evil daughters ...
- Kikko and Kikki.
- Quite, Milford.
- The plot to abduct Goofy from Disney World.
- The very same, Milford. And I assure Mama Eisner that the matter is being taken care of, but she just can’t seem to get it through her thick head.
- Her thick head?
- Yes, Milford, Mama Eisner’s head is quite thick.
- Quite, Mrs. Trentski.
- In any event, Milford, we’re going to Vegas for a few days, so, as First Sub Commandant of the Subterranean Robot Warriors, I expect you to prepare the Subterranean Robot Warrior Security Detail.
- Ten four, Mrs. Trentski.
- And we mustn’t forget to bring that Subterranean Robot Warrior who was so good at card counting.
- Subterranean Robot Warrior Libby, I believe, Mrs. Trentski.
- Yes, Milford, that sounds like the name. If memory serves me correctly, we walked way from the Blackjack table with quite a nice pile.
- Quite, Mrs. Trentski. The Subterranean Robot Warrior Accounting Department was quite pleased.
- As were we all, Milford. Maybe we’ll do even better this time, Milford.
- Quite.
- See if you can reserve that same room for me, Milford. It was quite comfortable.
- The one with the two double beds and Jacuzzi?
- Yes, Milford. Nesbit loves the Jacuzzi.
- Nesbit, your nap buddy.
- The very same, Milford. He will be accompanying us, as usual.
- Shall I get tickets for the Wayne Newton show?
- Excellent idea, Milford.
- Glad to be of service, Mrs. Trentski.
- Nesbit so enjoys Wayne Newton.
- Quite, Mrs. Trentski.
- Oh, by the way, Milford, the Central Intelligence Bureau of the Subterranean Robot Warriors, or CIBSRW as we call it, reports a sighting of Michael Eisner wandering around the Magic Kingdom.
- Quite. Might this be the rat disguised as Michael Eisner?
- CIBSRW says a tail was seen protruding from its pant leg.
- Gosh Gee Willikers, Mrs. Trentski, then that must be the rat agent dispatched by Dr. Chicago in furtherance of his evil plot to abduct Goofy from Disney World.
- Well, Milford, the only problem is that Michael Eisner has a tail.
- Holy McGovern, Mrs. Trentski. I smell a rat in there somewhere.
- Yes, Milford, by some genetic fluke, Michael Eisner was born with a tail.
- Truth be told, Mrs. Trentski.
- It has, of course, been a well kept secret. But those who know say it accounts for the rodent-like smile that adorns Michael’s face whenever the subject of money comes up.
- Dear fathers, Mrs. Trentski.
- So, the Specialty Forces Unit of the Subterranean Robot Warriors must proceed with utmost caution, Milford.
- Indeed they must, Mrs. Trentski.
- We mustn’t trap the wrong rat.
- No, Mrs. Trentski, we certainly mustn’t.
- Well, Milford, I just wanted to keep you informed. Let’s proceed with the preparations for our Las Vegas junket.
-Ten four, Mrs. Trentski.
© 2004 Croscrane